Hole Foods

I’m walking into the grocery store to start my shift. I’m not in uniform, so I’m able to pass the customers unnoticed. I see a customer poking holes in some green peppers. They’re already on sale, but she knows we sell damaged/past their prime produce for a big discount.

As luck would have it, after I had signed in and taken my post at my checkout, she’s the one who came through my lane.

Customer: *About to ask for a discount.* “So, these peppers are—”

Me: “—unsellable! Oh, my goodness, thank you for taking these off the shelves for us!”

Customer: “What, no! I—”

Me: “It’s obvious some mean customer just poked holes in these with their finger. That’s so terrible! Under health and safety laws, we can’t legally sell these; they have to be written off. Thank you so much for removing these for us.”

The customer opened her mouth to say something, but gave up and allowed me to chuck the peppers.

If she’d been some old pensioner barely hanging on, I might have looked the other way, but I knew this woman from church (she never recognizes me), and I know for a fact that budgeting isn’t an issue for her. She’s just a cheapskate.