Hobbits Never Have These Problems

I’m shopping in a store. I’m fairly tall for a woman — 5′9″. A much shorter woman approaches me.

Woman #1: “Excuse me. I know you don’t work here, but would you mind getting that box off the top shelf for me?”

I hand it to her, she thanks me, and I take one step when another woman comes out of nowhere and starts yelling at me.

Woman #2: “I NEED HELP! GET ME A BLENDER FROM THE BACK! I KNOW YOU HAVE MORE! I WANT IT NOW! MOVE!”

I stare at her for about two seconds, tell her, “I don’t work here”, turn my back, and start to walk away. She grabs my arm and spins me around.

Woman #2: “DON’T YOU LIE TO ME! GET ME THE BLENDER OR I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED!”

I’m wearing a band T-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops — not even close to the store uniform. The short lady I helped hits her hand away from my arm. With more volume than I thought that tiny woman could produce, she yells right back.

Woman #1: “SHE DOESN’T WORK HERE! SHE HELPED ME BECAUSE I ASKED HER POLITELY!”

Dropping to normal volume, she starts to lead me away.

Woman #1: “Come on, dear. Ignore that b****.”

The crazy woman starts screaming she’s going to get me fired and follows us, so I walk to the customer service counter. The crazy woman is still screaming at me.

I make eye contact with the guy behind the counter.

Me: “Manager, please.”

As he picks up his radio, the crazy lady screams:

Woman #2:  “I WANT YOUR NAME”

And she tried to take my purse off my shoulder. I shoved her off and a manager, another employee, and the nice lady I helped all jumped in to pull her away from me. They called the cops and had her escorted from the store with a permanent ban. I declined pressing charges.

I bought lunch for the short lady and we ended up becoming great friends!