Ho-Mo You Didn’t!

(I am at a karaoke bar. I’m female and have just sung a love song by a male singer with lyrics that clearly indicate the other person is female but not the singer’s gender. Females usually change the lyrics to indicate a male. I sang the original. A stranger grabs me on the way back to my table.)

Stranger: “Why did you sing that to a girl? You sing nice but that was very weird and made me feel so awkward.”

Me: “Is that a problem?”

Stranger: “Yes, you are a girl! You should sing to a boy!”

Me: “Not if I’m gay.”

Stranger: “Ewww, get away from me.”

Me: “Glad to.”

(As I was walking away his friend says to him:)

Stranger’s Friend: “That was rude!” *to me* “Sorry!”

(The next song I choose is a love song with lyrics clearly indicated the singer as male and the other person as female. I sang it as female for both. That particular stranger is glaring at me, I glare back and walk a different way back to my table.)

Stranger: *yelling so everyone can hear* “Disgusting homo!”

Stranger’s Friend: *slaps him in the head* “You’re the disgusting one!”

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!