Needs To Get A Stronger Backbone

(I work at a car parts store. One of my coworkers is not that bright, but also very lazy. He tries to get out of work whenever he can.)

Coworker: “Aw, man, my back is killing me. Can I go home early?”

Me: “No, you went home early yesterday.”

Coworker: “But my back is killing me today and it just gets worse.”

Me: “How can your back get worse? You haven’t done anything over then deliver parts all day.”

Coworker: “Yeah, but sitting makes it worse.”

(The next day.)

Coworker: *calls in* “I’m going to be late. I hurt my back this morning.”

(The next day.)

Coworker: “I need to leave early. I hurt my back.”

Me: “No. My back hurts, too. You have to stay as long as I do.”

Coworker: “But no one in this store has worse back issues than me!”

Me: “Incorrect. I have had issue with my back since puberty, having constant muscle spasms. [Coworker #2] has a terrible knee, but can still stand and deliver parts without issue. [Coworker #3] has had lordosis, causing her back to form the wrong way. If they can drive and stand then so can you.”

(45 minutes later.)

Coworker: “I can’t wait to ride my motorcycle later.”

Me: “I thought you said your back hurt?”

Coworker: “It does, but I don’t need that to ride a motorcycle.”

Me: “Then how do you balance on it without using your back?”

(He stopped talking to me after that.)