Hmm, I Think Someone Made A Phone Call

Customer: “Yes, I’d like… some pine.”

Me: “Okay. What size do you need?”

Customer: “Oh, just a regular board.”

Me: “No problem. But lumber comes in different sizes. What size would you like?”

Customer: “Just a regular size.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there really isn’t a ‘regular size.’ Did you want to check and find out what size you needed?”

Customer: “No, I just need an average size piece of wood.”

Me: “Maybe I could show you our lumber so you could see which one looks right?”

Customer: “Look, I just want a piece of pine! Or, uh… fir. Or spruce.”

Me: “Maybe you’re looking for 2 inch thick lumber? Or is it just 1 inch, like shelving board?”

Customer: “No, that’s too short.”

Me: “That’s how thick the lumber is. The shortest we carry is 6 feet. What is the board being used for?”

Customer: “Just get me whatever everyone else uses, I guess.”

Me: “That’s the thing. People use all different sizes. Maybe if I had some idea of what it was for, I could try to guess what you need?”

Customer: “Why are you making this so difficult?!”

Me: Okay… could it be 8 feet long? Maybe a 2 x 4 x 8? We have pine, spruce, and fir lumber in that size. And you mentioned all three of those, right?”

Customer: “What does all that mean?”

Me: “If you’re getting this for someone else, maybe you should call them. We have a phone you could use right here on the desk.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this. Just forget it!” *storms off*

(The customer returns 15 minutes later.)

Customer: “Can I have a piece of 2 x 4 x 8 spruce lumber?”