Hitting The Bottoming Of The Barrel

(My mother and I are preparing to make plum jam while my dad and sister sit nearby. My dad is hard of hearing and we all have a twisted sense of humour.)

Mum: “That should be enough jars for the bottling.”

Dad: “Did you say, ‘bottoming’?”

Me: “Wrong containment vessel. We’re using glass, not a**.”

Sister: “Yeah, Dad. Plums, not bums.”