Hit The Road, Not-So-Sweet Sixteen

(I’m twenty-six years old. Due to my Asperger’s Syndrome and a number of other factors, I haven’t been able to get my driver’s license until now. This takes place at work the Friday after I pass my road test. One of my coworkers, who turned sixteen a few months ago, comes in singing.)

Coworker: *singing* “Guess who just passed her test?”

Me: “You?”

Coworker: “Yep! I’m now a licensed driver, see?”

(She proudly displays her new driver’s license.)

Me: “Awesome, I got mine on Tuesday!”

(I show her my license. She glances at it, then looks incredulously at me.)

Coworker: “Wait, you’re that old and you only just now got your license?”

Me: “Well, yeah. What about it?”

Coworker: “Oh, my God, you’re such a loser! Why would you wait so long?”

Me: “Umm, why does it matter when I got my license?”

Coworker: “Because normal people get their license at 16 like me! Only losers wait until later!”

(The manager comes in at this point. She has overheard the whole exchange.)

Manager: *to my coworker* “Clock out right now and go home. We’ll discuss your behavior in my office first thing tomorrow morning. Oh, and for the record, sweetheart, I didn’t get my license until I was thirty. Were you planning on calling me a loser, too?”

(My coworker opened her mouth but didn’t say a word, and then punched out and left. She quit the next day, claiming that she wanted a job where she didn’t have to work with losers who didn’t get their license at sixteen — good luck with that. My now ex-coworker lost her license two days later when she failed to stop for a school bus.)