His Wife Is The Pineapple Of His Eye

A customer is holding up a pineapple.

Customer: “Excuse me, my wife normally does the shopping. Can you tell me how to tell if this pineapple is ripe?”

Me: “Sure. If the bottom smells sweet and the leaves pull out easily, it’s good to go.”

Customer: “But how am I supposed to smell the bottom without looking weird?”

Me: “The way I see it, it’s either risk a sniff or gamble on sour fruit salad.”

Customer: “Yeah… I’ll never hear the end of it at home if that happened.” *Goes in for the sniff.*

He was still there ten minutes later. He’d moved on to sniffing the melons…