His Very Special Daughter

(I’m at a family get together and we are discussing gifts. It turns to a kind of clay, safe for children and non-toxic.)

Brother: “Nope, not for [His Three-Year-Old Daughter]. No. Njet. I don’t want it.”

Me: *ready to launch into a spiel about stimulating creativity, etc.*

Brother: “No, I’m not having it. [Dog] isn’t going to s*** rainbows again.”

(Apparently, his Jack Russel finds the dough irresistible and gobbles it up. Brother wins.)