His Shopping Trip Came Crashing To The Floor

(My dad had heard from a few friends of ours that it’s a good idea to wax the outdoors brick floors so they don’t absorb water. They gave him the name of the brand they use. He’s the slightly moronic customer in this one. We don’t speak French, and they rarely speak English in this area.)

Dad: “I need [Brand] so I can wax our brick floors.”

Employee: *points to bucket*  “It’s for preparing walls before you put on tiles.”

Dad: “No, no, it’s for waxing floors!”

Employee: “Nnnnno, it’s for preparing walls before you tile.”

Dad: “No, it’s not! I need to talk to your expert.”

(An expert comes over, and tries to explain repeatedly what my dad is trying to buy.)

Expert: “This is for preparing walls before you tile.”

Dad: “You’re ALL clearly very wrong.”

(My dad marched out of the store with a five-litre bucket. The bad news: My dad painted the entire roof terrace with sticky stuff meant to help tiles stick to the wall. The good news: He did a really neat job, and it _almost_ doesn’t feel like you’ve stepped in dry soda anymore.)