His Sex Ed Needs A Plan B

| Learning | January 1, 2016

(My senior math class was very disorderly, as my teacher didn’t really discipline us. This led to seat jumping and really dumb acts to occur in his classroom. This was just one…)

Popular Student: *walks up to my table* “Hey, did you hear?”

Me: *braces myself as he’s said crude things to mess with me before* “Hear what?”

Popular Student: *completely serious* “I heard the Plan B pill has a side effect that makes you throw up your own fetus.”

(This guy has been having sex since at LEAST tenth grade, so I’m more than a little scared of how little he knows about this stuff.)

Friend: “Oh, that’s not… that’s—” *trails off with the most haunted look on her face*

Me: *fearing for all his future girlfriends* “Um, well, first of all, that’s physically impossible.”

Popular Student: “Oh, yeah?” *somewhat detached*

Me: “Yeah, the reproductive system and digestive system aren’t connected. Sooo, no, not possible. Plus, the Plan B pill wouldn’t deal with fetuses; that’s not what it’s for.”

Popular Student: “Oh, well, that’s what I heard.” *walks away*

Friend: “I fear for humanity.”

Me: *head desk*

(For those who don’t know, the Plan B pill is supposed to be taken after sex to prevent the egg from being fertilized, so it would have no effect on a fetus. Plus, throwing up a fetus would be impossible unless the uterus was somehow connected to the stomach, which it isn’t. Sex ed, people. We need it.)

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