His Milkshake Brings All The Girls To The Yard

(My boyfriend works at an ice cream parlor near my house. Frequently, I drop in to grab a milkshake and chat with him during slow moments. On this particular day, my boyfriend greets me, settles me in with my shake at a table, and goes back to the register to take care of another customer. At this point, two provocatively-dressed young women enter.)

Boyfriend: “Hi! Welcome to [store]! What can I get for you ladies?”

Customer #1: “Oh, you could get me a whole lot.”

(The customers giggle to themselves and then order. My boyfriend has to go in the back to get the ingredients for one order, and after he leaves, the women continue chatting.)

Customer #2: “He’s so hot!”

Customer #1: “Just look at those arms!”

Boyfriend: *sticking his head out from the back* “Ma’am, would you like a regular or king size cone?”

Customer #1: “King size. The bigger, the better. That’s my style.”

Customer #2: “What do you think about that?”

Boyfriend: “Uh. I really don’t—”

Customer #2: “Do you have a girlfriend, hot stuff?”

Boyfriend: “Actually, I—”

Customer #1: “I mean, it doesn’t matter to us, if it doesn’t to you.”

Me: “Well, it matters to me.”

(The customers turn around with snide faces.)

Customer #2: “Why do you care?”

Me: “Hi, I’m the girlfriend.”

(The customers turn their backs on me with red faces. They pay quietly and leave.)

Boyfriend: “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Me: “Shut up.”