His Loyalties Are All In A Muggle

(My boyfriend and I are watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince with my mother. My boyfriend notoriously tends to like the bad guys in movies because they are funnier to watch.)

Me: “So, if you were in Draco Malfoy’s position, which side would you take?”

Mum: “Well, Malfoy can’t take sides. He’s stuck.”

Boyfriend: *fist pumping the air* “Harry’s side!”

(My mum and I look at him.)

Boyfriend: “What? Voldemort kills Unicorns! He must be destroyed!”