His Hearing Is Week

(I am a supervisor at a popular coffee chain. I had just started counting some product when I realized I had left my clipboard on the counter.)

Me: *to manager nearby* “Hey could you grab me that thing?” *makes dramatic reaching motions towards the clipboard*

Manager: “Um, sure.” *hands it to me with a look*

Me: “Yeah, it’s been one of those weeks…”

Manager: *mishears me* “Well, at least you’re honest about your choices…”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Manager: “You just said it was from all the weed.”

Me: “…No.”