His Hearing Is Hearty

(I am a hearing aid technician running a clinic in a local GP surgery. I have no medical training at all. My clients wait in the main reception area until I call them by name.)

Me: “Mr. [Unusual Name]?”

Man: “That’s me.”

(He stands and follows me to the treatment room.)

Me: “Please take a seat.”

(I make a note on my paperwork before turning to him, only to find he’s removed his shirt and is untucking his vest.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Man: “You need my chest, don’t you?”

Me: “What for?”

Man: “To listen to my heart.”

Me: “I’m here to fix your hearing aids!”

Man: “What hearing aids? Nothing wrong with my ears!”

Me: “Um… I think there’s been a mistake. Please get dressed!”

(It turned out there were two men with the same very unusual last name, both in the waiting room at the same time. And of course, the man with the faulty hearing aids couldn’t hear me!)