His Hands Are Just As Dirty

(We have a teacher in the history department who is just plain horrible for no reason. It rained the previous night, so the ground floor has a lot of wet footprints.)

Teacher: “Hey! What are you lot doing, bringing in all this mud?!”

Friend #1: “Everyone is bringing it in on the ground floor. There’s no carpet; it’s impossible to avoid.”

Teacher: “Well, you shouldn’t be treading it upstairs! It’s a real slur on the cleaners; they shouldn’t have to clean up your footprints every day! Show some respect!”

(He walks off, leaving behind the EXACT same footprints.)

Me: “Sir? Look at your shoes.”

(He looks down and has a sudden realization before stuttering out a defense.)

Teacher: “Well, you lot show no respect! I at least have respect for the cleaners! And my car is on the other side of the field so it’s unavoidable!”

Friend #2: “So, you can mess up the building but we can’t because we don’t feel bad about it?”

Teacher: “YES!” *under his breath* “Honestly, kids today…”