His Ex Did A Number On Him

, , , | Right | August 4, 2020

I work as an adviser in the technology department. Smart TVs with cameras are the new big thing, and I have been answering some questions for two older gentleman customers for about an hour and a half. The conversation is going great, we are having a joke and a laugh, and I have demonstrated the use of the camera for motion control. Right as I’m closing the sale with a quick roundup of all the information regarding price and delivery:

Customer: *Turns to his friend* “This will be great. I can’t wait to get this home and set up. Maybe now I will finally catch those witches that have been living in my garden on camera.”

I thinking this is probably a joke between friends and is probably referencing a group of kids that maybe hang around his house, so I decide to keep quiet and carry on printing out his payment confirmation.

Friend: “I know, [Customer]! They have been terrorizing you for years; it will be good to get some proof so we can get rid of them.”

The customer turns to me, completely straight-faced.

Customer: “You know, I have witches living at the bottom of my garden. No word of a lie. They come out at night and dance round a giant fire in my back garden, and then by morning the fire has gone out and they are nowhere to be seen. You believe me, don’t you? You must believe me.”

Me: “That is very strange, Mr. [Customer]. I hope you do get them.”

I hand him the receipt and delivery information.

Customer: “I’ve seen these witches, I have. Seen them with my own eyes. I have never caught them on camera because they know. They know and I am being punished. Take this as a warning from an old man. Don’t ever get caught up in this. Witches are evil menaces. Be careful always.”

The customer then turned and left, leaving me gobsmacked, wondering if what just happened was real! Not my worst customer I have ever served, but definitely the strangest interaction!

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