His Cheese Can Be Grating

(My boyfriend likes saying cheesy romantic things. This is around lunchtime, but I’m not hungry yet.)

Boyfriend: “I live in a perfect world because you’re perfect and you’re my world.”

Me: “CHEESE. SO MUCH CHEESE.”

Boyfriend: “Would you like some wine with that cheese?”

(I remain silent.)

Boyfriend: *in whiny voice* “Why aren’t you hungry yet? I want to get lunch!” *in normal voice* “We should have wine-tasting parties, and when people ask where the wine and cheese are, you can say I’m providing them. Haha.”