His Chances Of Getting Another Drink Are Shot

I’m bartending a very busy wedding. A big guy who has been taking full advantage of the open bar all night — and being a pain the whole time — staggers up.

Customer: “Shot. Now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not comfortable serving you anymore.”

Customer: “C’mon, just one more.”

Me: “No. I’m legally liable for anything you do. You’re already pretty drunk.”

Customer: “I’m a cop! You won’t get in trouble, I promise!”

Me: “Absolutely not.”

Customer: *Getting teary* “Please, my wife has been cheating on me and I just need more shots.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but I cannot serve you.”

Customer: “ARE YOU F****** KIDDING ME?! THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! GIVE ME A SHOT! NOW!

Me: “I’ll get you my manager.”

As my manager talks to him, a bridesmaid comes up to me and whispers:

Bridesmaid: “Good job not serving him. He’s not even a cop anymore; he got fired last year.”

He ended up getting kicked out, and then he was arrested for trying to beat up his wife in the parking lot when she wanted to drive home because she was sober.