His Brain Is In Serious Need Of An Update

Me:
“Thank you for calling [Cable and Internet Provider]; this is [My Name]—”

Caller:
*In thick accent* “Your computer says, ‘Please do not power off or unplug your computer, update 1/72’.”

Me:
“First of all, you called your cable provider. Second, it’s just an update that all computers—”

Caller:
*Cutting me off* “Maybe it needs more power? Is that the problem?”

Me:
“No, it’s not a problem. It’s natural; it won’t happen all the time. Every few months—”

The caller cuts off every response I try to give.

Caller:
“For a few months? How many months should I wait?”

Me:
“No, it’s normal. Just wait for it to finish.”

Caller:
“But why? Why is it not working?”

Me:
“It’s not ‘not working,’ it is working. It’s just—”

Caller:
“No! It’s not working. It’s a nice computer!”

Me:
*Sighs*

Caller:
“Hello?”

Me:
“Put it this way. Even a Ferrari needs tuning up.”

Caller:
“A Ferrari? My computer needs Ferrari?”

Me:
“I mean, even the nicest car needs to be brought to the shop—”

Caller:
“I need to bring this to your shop? Where is your shop?”

Me:
“No… I’m sorry, let me put it this way. Do you have a car?”

Caller:
“A car? Yes, yes, I have a car.”

Me:
“After a number of miles, you need to bring it in to tune it up.”

Caller:
“Return? I need to return?”

Me:
“…”

I ended up giving him a number to call for a local tech shop two blocks from his address.