His Bark Is Worse Than His Dog’s Bite

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 17, 2020

My grandma was recently hospitalized, so when our local grocery has her favorite soda on sale, my uncle makes a special, hilariously huge order of three dozen bottles to surprise her, and I go to pick it up.

I manage to score a close spot that is perfect for getting the large order, right next to a small, beat-up pickup truck that is covered in highly-charged propaganda and political stickers. I can see a couple of people and some dogs in the cab of the truck, but I think nothing of either the dogs or the stickers. That’s unfortunately common where I live, and worth nothing more than a mental eye-roll. It’s important to note that I generally avoid public confrontation if at all possible.  

I step out of my vehicle already wearing a mask, and before I can shut my car door, a large, scary dog in the truck leaps halfway out of the truck window, snarling and attempting to bite me!

I am so startled that I yell quite loudly.

Me: “WHAT THE ACTUAL F***?! HOLY JESUS CHRIST!” 

Apparently, my compliance with the store’s (unenforced) mask mandate is a gigantic problem for the jerk in the passenger seat, too. He shouts back.

Passenger: “Shouldn’t have been wearing that g**d*** mask, ya stupid b****!” 

My sassmouth responds without hesitation.

Me: “What the f*** does that have to do with your psychotic dog trying to bite me, you ignorant f***?! I literally got out of my car and that’s all. Maybe if you didn’t have a vicious-a** dog in a public place trying to bite people, this wouldn’t have happened! F*** off, dumba**!”

He clearly did not like a woman standing up to him. He started screaming that I should never speak to a man like that, I was nothing but a stupid, uppity b****, etc. I didn’t even bother turning back around; I just threw my middle finger up and kept walking as he continued shouting. 

I was shaking by the time I got into the store; it was so out of character for me. But it felt really, REALLY good to finally stand up to one of these jerks who thinks that masks are useless and that women should know their place!

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