Highlight Of His Day
An older customer is staring at the highlights in my hair.
Customer: “What’s all that gay rubbish in your hair?!”
Me: “Pardon me?”
The customer’s grandson gasps.
Customer’s Grandson: “Grandad! You can’t just say that!”
Customer: “I can! He put all that pink b*llocks in his hair. He wants attention, and I’m giving it to him!”
Me: “It’s leftover from when I was cosplaying at ComiCon, if you must know, sir.”
Customer: “What the f*** is a ComiCon?”
Customer’s Grandson: “Grandad! I told you, it’s that convention where fans of sci-fi and fantasy meet up. They have it down in London sometimes.”
Customer: “Well, that explains it. All that gay fairy stuff that you kids see on the internet and social media and all that rubbish! No wonder this country’s going to s***!”
Me: “Sir, did you want to buy something, or did you walk into the shop simply to question the sexual orientation of my hair?”
Customer’s Grandson: “Sorry about him.”
Customer: “I will not be apologised for! The government is going to ban social media for all the kids, soon! I saw it on the news! Under sixteen ban! Then this country can start producing real men again!”
Customer’s Grandson: “…your social media feed convinced you that the COVID vaccine made your blood magnetic and that barcode scanners cause autism, so maybe they should ban it for over sixty-fives as well.”
The customer glared at his grandson, and then at me. I lift up my barcode scanner and aim it at him.
Me: “Boo.”
He gives me the finger and leaves the shop. The poor grandson walks out after him. I honestly think he came into the shop just to have a go at me, as he didn’t seem interested in anything we sold.
