He’s Not Exactly Professor X(Ray)

(An elderly man in a wheelchair comes into the clinic waiting room accompanied by his adult son. This clinic is held upstairs.)

Nurse: “Mr. [Man]?”

Man: “Yep.”

Nurse: “You’ll need an x-ray before you see [Consultant].”

Man: “I’m not having no x-ray. I’ve had enough x-rays!”

Nurse: “Well, [Consultant] has requested a new x-ray before he sees you today.”

Man: “No, I’m not having no x-ray.”

Nurse: “Did you want me to cancel your appointment today, then?”

Man: “No, I’m here. I want my appointment.”

Nurse: Well, [Consultant] can’t do anything unless you have a new x-ray.”

Man: “Fine! I’ll have the x-ray.”

Nurse: “Okay, then. If you’ll just take the lift to go downstairs to x-ray—”

Man: “Down? I’ve just come up in the lift! I’m not going down again! I’ve had enough of this: up in the lift, down in the lift. I don’t like lifts! I’m not going down in any lift. You can’t make me.”

Son: “I reckon you’ll be staying here all night, then, Dad. We’re on the second floor.”