He’s Just Looking To Blow Smoke

(I work for a well-known fast food chain. Due to the general law, smoking is prohibited in our restaurant. I catch a customer lighting a cigarette inside the building.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. Would you please extinguish your cigarette?”

Customer: “Why? I can smoke if I want! What’s the problem?”

Me: “Due to general law, it’s prohibited to smoke inside restaurants.”

Customer: *pulls out his wallet and hands me a fifty-euro bill* “Take this and you saw nothing.”

Me: “Sir, are you asking me to ignore federal law?”

Customer: *puts the bill back in the wallet* “If you don’t want… Just make an offer.”

Me: *getting a bit angry* “Sir, your offer was illegal — just as illegal as it is to smoke within restaurants. Please extinguish your cigarette now!”

(Other customers are turning their faces towards us. The customer walks over to me and leans forward on the register desk, holding the cigarette directly in front of my face. I have to take a step backward to avoid getting burned.)

Customer: *with an angry voice* ”You don’t have to say anything. You’re not the cops!”

(He flipped his cigarette directly into our fryer and stomped out. The hot fat caught fire immediately, so we had to evacuate the building and call the fire department. They arrived quickly. We made a report about this man, and a few days later he was caught. He had to pay the complete damage he caused and went to jail for one year due to endangering people and willful damage.)