He’s Gonna Slash That Whiplash

(I am waiting in the drive-thru line at a popular coffee shop and have my car in park. The car in front of me leaves, and it’s my turn to pay. Before I can shift my car into drive, the truck behind me starts to go and bumps into me. I roll down my window, turn around and look at the guy, and then give my cash to the employee.)

Guy: *who hit me* “HEY! YOU BACKED INTO ME!”

Me: “I absolutely did not. I’m going to pull up to those parking spots, and after you pay, go ahead and pull up.”

(I pull up and wait, then get out of my car. I see there’s zero damage at all. He pulls in next to me and gets out. There is also zero damage to his truck, but I quickly start snapping photos.)

Guy: “YOU’RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!”

Me: “For one thing, I was in park. You hit me. For another thing, there is no damage to either of our vehicles.”

Guy: “I’LL TELL YOU THIS! I’M FEELING PRETTY WHIPLASHED.”

Me: “Okay, let’s go ahead and call the police, but just so you know I have a dash cam and a rear cam. My dash cam does indicate my speed, and that I was in park, and my rear cam will have notated this accident.”

Guy: “YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOU!” *drives away*

(I did end up filing a police report later, just to cover my own butt, but nothing ever came of it. And when I watched the rear cam footage online, he was clearly on his phone when he hit me, and made the biggest “oops” face to boot.)