He’s Always Mighty Proud To Say It

(I’m the troublemaker in this story. I’m seeing my foot and ankle specialist. I’m a diabetic with an advanced form of neuropathy known as Charcot Foot. This doctor has already rebuilt my left foot twice, so I’m visiting him to discuss what we’re going to do with the right foot.)

Me: *as he walks in* “Howdy, [Doctor’s abbreviated first name]!”

Doctor: *offering his hand* “Sir! How are you?”

Me: “We got trouble, my friend… right here in River City.”

Doctor: “Does it start with a capital T, that rhymes with P, that stands for ‘pool’?”

Me: “As a matter of fact, my problems start with S.”

Doctor: “S?”

Me: “Yeah. I got spurs, and they don’t jingle-jangle-jingle.”

Doctor: *glancing at my new x-rays, specifically the talus* “Yeah, I see them… and I doubt they let you ride merrily along.”