He’s A Different Kind Of Nut(s)
Coworker: “Huh, this tea tastes like almonds…”
Me: *jokingly* “Maybe it’s poisoned.”
(They give me a questioning look.)
Coworker: “What? Why would it be poisoned?”
Me: “You know, almonds. Cyanide tastes like almonds.”
(Everyone around me has turned to give me funny looks now.)
Coworker #2: “[My Name], how do you know that?”
Me: “Uh… I don’t actually know…”
Coworker #2: “Right, nobody accept anything almond flavoured from [My Name], just in case he goes crazy and tries to kill us all.”
Me: “Hey, I’m not going to go crazy and poison you all! If I went on a killing spree, I’d definitely use a homemade bomb.”
Coworker: “How do you know how to build a bomb?!”
Me: “I did chemistry at uni.”
Coworker #2: “Okay, yeah, that one’s fair enough.” *everyone turns back to their work*
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