Her Heart Is Just Not In It

(A well-dressed, middle-aged lady comes to my till.)

Me: “Hello there, how can I help?”

Customer: “Just a packet of ten [Brand Cigarettes] please, dear.”

(I go to the cabinet, find the cigarettes, scan them, and hand them to the customer. She stares at the packet.)

Customer: “Oh, no, dear. I don’t think I’d like this packet.”

Me: “That’s okay, madam. Which brand would you like instead?”

Customer: “No, I mean I don’t like this packet. Could I have another please?”

(The customer gestures to the health message on the packet, which reads ‘Smoking causes throat cancer.’ It comes with a rather graphic picture.)

Me: “Oh okay, how about this one?”

(I hand the customer a packet labeled ‘Smokers die young.’)

Customer: “No… no, not this one either I’m afraid.”

Me: “Okay, madam. How about ‘Smoking harms both yourself and others around you’?”

Customer: “No, I don’t like that one.”

Me: “’Smoking causes heart disease’?”

Customer: “…no.”

Me: “‘Smoking can cause impotence’?”

Customer: *after a pause* “…yes. Yes, okay. I’ll have that one.”