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Her Future With This Hotel Is Going Up In Smoke

, , , | Right | CREDIT: mstarrbrannigan | October 23, 2021

Me: “[Hotel], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Are you the manager?”

Me: “I’m the manager on duty.”

Caller: “I tried to check in yesterday, and they said I was on some list and can’t rent there anymore.”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: “Why am I on this list?”

Me: “What’s your name?”

Caller: “[Caller].”

Me: “Oh, okay. During your last stay, you were in a nonsmoking room and there was evidence that someone had smoked in it, so we will not be renting to you anymore.”

Caller: “So?”

Me: “So… what?”

Caller: “I was supposed to be in a smoking room.”

Me: “You were checked into a nonsmoking room that was clearly marked as non-smoking by the room number, and there are two signs in the room stating that it is nonsmoking.”

Caller: “So what? I reserved a smoking room for the next day, but y’all are working on your stairs so I couldn’t get a smoking room.”

Me: “You would not have been able to reserve one of the smoking rooms upstairs because of the work being done, and I see no evidence that you did.”

Caller: “Well, I did.”

Me: “I have no evidence of that. Regardless, the room is marked nonsmoking, and when you signed the registration card, you agreed not to smoke in the room, and to pay $250 if you did.”

Caller: “I didn’t sign anything.”

Me: “The registration card is the paper you sign when you check in.”

Caller: “Well, I didn’t sign it.”

Me: “Okay, I don’t believe you. Either way, the room is marked non-smoking, and while it was rented to you, it was smoked in, so you are no longer welcome here.”

Caller: “What does this have to do with me?”

Me: “You smoked in a nonsmoking room.”

Caller: “Well, you know the guy with the glasses?”

Me: “Yes [Part-Time Night Audit].”

Caller: “He checked me in.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Caller: “So you need to talk to him.”

Me: “I don’t. I see right here he checked you into a nonsmoking room. Oh, and here’s the original reservation you made for the wrong day… which was also for a nonsmoking room.”

Caller: “I booked a smoking room.”

Me: “You did not. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “You can’t tell me I can’t stay there anymore.”

Me: “We can. Consider this notification that you are no longer allowed at the hotel. If you return, we will call the police and have you trespassed.”

Caller: “You can’t do that. I’m going to come get a room tomorrow and prove it!”

Me: “We’re not going to rent you a room, don’t waste either of our—”

And she hung up. In case you’re wondering, she absolutely did sign a registration card. I checked.