Bob Needs A New Job

(I’ve recently gotten a new cellphone. Out of the blue, my phone starts going crazy after an interview. There is no obvious water damage nor evidence of any physical damage. The following week, I go to a local store to try to fix my phone.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve been having some trouble with my phone.”

Worker: “Oh… well, my speciality is with MP3 players. Ask Bob.” *calls Bob over*

Me: *to Bob* “Hi, my phone isn’t….”

Bob: “It’s water damage. All you kids get water damage. Good job, you broke your battery.”

Me: “I don’t think it’s the battery as I can still charge it.”

(Bob ignores me, but checks my phone to see if there is water damage. Lo and behold, there isn’t.)

Bob: “D*** teenagers are getting sneakier with wanting to get upgrades. Always wanting your parents to buy the next best thing. When I was a teenager, I paid for that myself!”

Me: “Sir, I am not a teenager, and although I am on my father’s account, I chose and paid for the phone myself. I also pay my share of the phone bill each month. I do not want an upgrade. I am merely hoping to figure out what’s wrong with my phone because I have several interviews coming up soon.”

Bob: “Lazy teenage girls don’t work! They have boyfriends and their dads to pay for it all!”

Me: “Like I said, I am not a teenager. I’m 23, as a matter of fact. Can you please tell me what’s wrong with my phone?”

Bob: “Your phone needs replacing! I’ll have to send you a new one, but you won’t get an upgrade! You’ll keep this type of phone. Mail in the defective phone to Texas so they’ll smash it with bricks! How do you like that?”

Me: “That’s fine, as long as it comes as quickly as possible and it will work for me. Thanks for your help.”

(As I’m leaving the store with my defective phone, Bob has one more thing to say to me.)

Bob: “GET A JOB! Lazy teenage girls are so unattractive!”