Her Brain Is Flat

(Being early for my lunch shift at a 1950s-themed diner, I have a seat with our retired cook who still does some grocery shopping for us. She’s a bit of a grouch, but I enjoy her company.)

Coworker: *to the cook*  “Would you like some more to drink?”

Cook: “No, thanks, didn’t taste quite right today.”

Me: *thinking she had her diet soda* “Is our machine losing carbonation again?”

Cook: “No, I had a [cold tea drink] and it tasted like it wasn’t shaken up or something.”

(During this time, my coworker, who likes to sound smart but is really a ditz, has taken a glass and tried some of the cold tea drink.)

Coworker: “I don’t think it’s hooked up right. There’s no carbonation.”

Me: “That’s fine. There shouldn’t be.”

Coworker: “But it’s from a fountain. It should be carbonated.”

Cook: “It’s tea. It shouldn’t be carbonated.”

Coworker: “But it’s flat…”

(The phone rings and she leaves to take an order.)

Me: “Can I kill her? She’s already brain dead.”

Cook: “I’ll hide the body.”

This story is part of the grouch day roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Weird And Funny Stories About The Strangest Customers Ever

Read the next grouch day roundup story!

Read the grouch day roundup!