Her Brain Is Flat

, , , , | Working | April 18, 2015

(Being early for my lunch shift at a 1950s-themed diner, I have a seat with our retired cook who still does some grocery shopping for us. She’s a bit of a grouch, but I enjoy her company.)

Coworker: *to the cook*  “Would you like some more to drink?”

Cook: “No, thanks, didn’t taste quite right today.”

Me: *thinking she had her diet soda* “Is our machine losing carbonation again?”

Cook: “No, I had a [cold tea drink] and it tasted like it wasn’t shaken up or something.”

(During this time, my coworker, who likes to sound smart but is really a ditz, has taken a glass and tried some of the cold tea drink.)

Coworker: “I don’t think it’s hooked up right. There’s no carbonation.”

Me: “That’s fine. There shouldn’t be.”

Coworker: “But it’s from a fountain. It should be carbonated.”

Cook: “It’s tea. It shouldn’t be carbonated.”

Coworker: “But it’s flat…”

(The phone rings and she leaves to take an order.)

Me: “Can I kill her? She’s already brain dead.”

Cook: “I’ll hide the body.”

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