Her Biology Is A Grade Crazier

, , , , , , | Learning | May 15, 2019

(I get along well with both of my lab partners in biology class; all three of us are very prepared, and we usually finish our labs well ahead of everyone else and spend the rest of the time chatting and goofing around. There is one woman in the class, though, who drives me nuts. She’s a lawyer, three months pregnant, who couldn’t find a job as a lawyer and came back to school for Biology. She sits clear across the room, but every time I look up, she’s leaning over my shoulder, telling me what to do, and usually getting the lab protocol wrong. When we’re testing blood cells in an isotonic solution:)

Student: “You need to hold it up to the light!”

(When we’re setting up a hot water bath.)

Student: “Are you sure you have it at the right temperature? I think it needs to be [five degrees higher than correct, which would have killed our yeast cells].”

(On learning I’m studying to be a surgeon:)

Student: “Oh, you don’t want to do that. It makes it so hard to have a family. You’ll regret it.”

(After my lab group and I have finished, cleaned up, and are chatting:)

Student: “You should really be working; you don’t want to waste your education!”

(After two months of this, I snap at her, and she finally backs off. It’s about two weeks later when both of us stay after class to talk to the professor. She is first, and when it becomes clear that they are talking about grades, I offer to leave. She insists that it’s fine, which I think gives our professor the idea that we are friends. I’m on my phone, trying not to eavesdrop, when I overhear this gem.)

Professor: “You know, if you’re serious about bringing your grade up to passing, you might want to study with [My Name]. She had the highest exam grade in the class, and on the last four quizzes!”

(She burst into tears and went running out of the room, much to the bewilderment of our poor professor. And that’s the story of how I made a pregnant lawyer cry.)

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