He’ll Never Man-age A Sale Like This

(I am at home from uni one day when the doorbell rings. I answer to find a salesperson.)

Salesperson: “Hi, we’re here to talk about switching your energy provider.”

Me: “Oh, no thank you; I’m quite happy with the provider we currently use.”

Salesperson: “But our service is much cheaper than the one you’re currently with. You really should switch.”

Me: “I’m not sure how you would know who I’m with. But again, no thank you, I’m happy with that service.”

Salesperson: *sarcastically* “You probably can’t make that decision anyway. What time does your husband get home? I’ll come back and talk to him.”

Me: “Actually, the bills are in my name and I manage our finances. I don’t think you want to come back later. My fiancé will say exactly what I just told you.”

(The salesperson leaves, but returns the next evening.)

My Fiancé: “I thought my fiancée told you yesterday to p*** off!”