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Heimdall Didn’t See That One Coming

| Working | October 9, 2015

(Our phone has caller display and unwanted calls tend to come up as either ‘Unavailable’ or ‘Withheld’. On this occasion the display shows ‘Unavailable’ but I answer it anyway. There is a pause before the obvious chatter of a call centre came on. )

Me: “Hello, Asgard? Loki speaking.”

Caller: “Hello, I am from the Windows Service Centre and I am calling about your computer. How are you today?”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: “You are getting errors on your computer; there are problems in the files which will cause it to crash at some point.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Caller: “Are you in front of your computer?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “You need to go to your computer and turn it on, and tell me when it’s ready. I am holding the line.”

Me: “Okay.” *pretends to call to another person* “Thor? Where’s the computer?” *puts phone down for a minute or so before going back to the call* “It’s not here.”

Caller: “The computer is not there?”

Me: “No, it’s in Midgard.”

Caller: “What? It’s where?”

Me: “Midgard.”

Caller: “Where’s that? Is that another town?”

Me: “It’s a whole other land. This is Asgard.”

Caller: *confused* “…Do you have a laptop?”

Me: “We have no need for computers here. We’re gods; we don’t need a laptop. We use magic and godly powers.”

Caller: “…I’m calling about the Windows operating system.”

Me: “Yeah, we don’t use it here.”

Caller: *increasingly confused* “Okay, bye.”

Me: *cheerily* “Bye!”

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