Heaven Is A Hairy Place

(I have a pink pixie cut. At work, my hair is covered by a hat that is part of our uniforms. I am helping an elderly woman find what she needs.)

Woman: “Why is your hair so short? I bet it would look absolutely beautiful long. Let me see it!”

(She grabs the hat off my head and gasps at my hair.)

Woman: “What did you to do to your hair? Why would you ruin something that was natural? You don’t look proper enough for Heaven!”

Me: “I wasn’t aware Heaven had such strict standards.”

Woman: “Yup! Just look at you! You’re going to Hell for sure!”

Me: “Okay, here’s the stuff you needed.”

(The ironic thing? This apparently religious woman was picking up condoms.)