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Heard It From The Grapewine

, , , , , , | Right | May 19, 2021

I am checking out a mother and her two young children at my register.

Customer: “You didn’t have [Brand] ice cream in stock. What will you do to satisfy me?”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. We should actually be getting a new shipment overnight, so—”

Customer: “What will you do to satisfy me now?”

Me: “I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do to—”

Customer: “I need this to feed my kids tonight. What will you do to satisfy me now?”

Child #1: “But Mommy, you said [Brand] ice cream is only for Mommies!”

Child #2: “Yeah! It’s for wine o’clock, after bedtime!”

The customer stares at me. I stare at the customer. I happen to be checking out her wine bottles at the time. I do not break eye contact.

Customer: “They meant nine o’clock.”