Hear No Evil, Saw No Evil

(My mother and I are shopping. We are there mainly so I can get a sewing machine, but decide to pick up a few other things, too.)

Me: *in a loud, child-like voice* “Mammy, can I have a chainsaw?”

Mother: “No! Not after last time!”

Me: “But, I said I was sorry!”

Mother: “No! You remember how long it took to sew that rabbit’s ears back on?!”

(An older man has overheard and is staring intently at us—and the contents of our cart.)

Me: “But, they didn’t fall off this time! I promise I’ll be good!”

Mother: “That’s what you said about the angle grinder too.”

Me: “Hey! That cat shouldn’t have gotten in the way!”

Mother: “You’re still not getting one!”