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Doctors, nurses, and staying healthy

A Large Dose Of Laziness

, , , | Healthy | December 18, 2017

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I am diagnosed with a rare neurological condition and go to the Mayo Clinic. My medication doses have to be adjusted continuously for several months and I am now on a combination of both the regular and extended release for the best effect. Since Mayo does not accept my insurance and I had to pay for their evaluation out of pocket, I am now transferring to an in-network neurologist for follow-up care.)

Me: “So I’m on [Medication] and I take 1000 mg extended and 500 regular in the morning, and then 1000 mg extended and 250 mg regular in the evening.”

Doctor: “Oh, that’s too complicated. I’m just going to write your prescription for 1000 mg twice a day.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Doctor: “I don’t know why you ended up on such a complicated dose.”

Me: “Because the neurologist at Mayo Clinic carefully adjusted my dose over several months, and we determined that this was what worked best to control my symptoms. You have all the records from Mayo.”

Doctor: “Yes, but it’ll be so much easier for you to just take 1000 mg twice a day.”

(I didn’t go back.)

Suffering From Temporal Displacement

, , | Healthy | December 17, 2017

(I’m headed to a doctor’s appointment that I scheduled two weeks prior. The appointment time is 3:30 and that was confirmed twice while talking to the receptionist, and I was left a voicemail the day before my appointment again confirming my 3:30 check in. I always like to arrive early because I work in the medical field myself and I know how important it is to be in time. I show up at a very prompt 3:10.)

Me: “Hi, I’m early but I’m here to check in for my 3:30 appointment.”

Receptionist: *very blankly* “Name.”

Me: *says name*

Receptionist: *SIGH* “Let me ask the doctor is she can see you because you’re really late.”

(The receptionist walks away before I can say anything. She comes back and rolls her eyes.)

Receptionist: “I guess she’ll see you, but you’re late.”

Me: “I’m twenty minutes early. My appointment is 3:30.”

Receptionist: “No, you’re twenty minutes late. Fill this out so she can take you back.”

(It’s not worth the fight, so I sit down and finish the paperwork. Soon after, the door swings open and the doctor calls my name.)

Doctor: “Hurry back. I need to rush because you’re very late and now my schedule is behind.”

Me: “My appointment was 3:30. I’m early.”

Doctor: “That’s not what my schedule says. You’re holding up my day.”

Me: “I have a voicemail even confirming my time!”

Doctor: *rolls eyes* “Sure you do. Hurry up.”

(I’m so annoyed with being called a liar I play the voicemail on speaker.)

Doctor: “Oh. They did say to check in at 3:30. But you’re still late; now hurry up.”

(I was so annoyed but the wait on this appointment was forever and I just quickly did the appointment. She was terrible and I never went back after that.)

Would Have Been Ice To Know

, , | Healthy | December 16, 2017

(I’ve just had major surgery on my leg and have been taken to my room. I begin to feel chilled, so I press the call button. The nurse who responds covered me with an additional blanket, but after a short time I am so cold I was shivering, so another blanket is added. Within about an hour two more blankets are added but I am colder than ever. Then the charge nurse comes in on her rounds.)

Me: *violently shivering* “C-c-cold!”

Nurse: *having just taken my vitals* “You’re practically hypothermic. Let me check your leg and then I’ll see what else we can do to warm you up.” *checks my leg* “Oh. How long has your leg been packed in ice?!”

Me: “Ice?”

(Neither of us knew, so it must have been done before I awoke from anesthesia which means it had been there for at quite some time. Each blanket that was added sealed in the cold that much more, so of course I was freezing! The ice was quickly removed and with five or six blankets covering me I warmed up pretty fast.)

They Need To Carb-Load Their Medical Degree

, , | Healthy | December 15, 2017

(I’ve been a diabetic for over 42 years, so I’m a bit “old school” when it comes to caring for my diabetes. Still, I must be doing something right, as my control has been fairly tight up until recently. Because of new issues, I go to see an endocrinologist and am discussing my diet with her. And as dismayed as I am to say it, I’m about 60 lbs overweight.)

Doctor: “How many carbs do you eat per meal?”

Me: “Oh, three, sometimes four. If I’m feeling particularly crazy, I’ll have up to five, but that’s my limit.”

Doctor: *looking at me in horror* “How many?!”

Me: “Three or four.”

Doctor: “Grams?”

Me: *holding my arms wide* “Do I look like a mouse? I’m talking about the diabetic exchange, doc. Fifteen grams is one carb, and I eat three or four carbs per meal, with two carbs being a snack.”

Doctor: “Oh, God! I thought you were eating only three or four grams per meal.”

Me: “Yes… and I have a blood glucose of zero.”

Diagnoses That Leave You Breathless

, , , | Healthy | December 15, 2017

(I was just recently diagnosed with pretty severe asthma. This winter, I start feeling odd in my chest whenever I breathe, and it’s causing me great anxiety, so I go to my GP.)

Me: “Whenever I breathe my chest feels odd, and it’s difficult to get deep breaths.”

Doctor: “So, don’t breathe; problem solved.”

Me: *awkward laugh* “Yeah, I guess so, but I was hoping for a more permanent solution.”

Doctor: “Take your inhaler.”

Me: “Yes, I am, but it doesn’t help.”

Doctor: “So, don’t breathe.”

(I ended up walking out and going to the ER. It wasn’t life-threatening and they just told me to take something over-the-counter medicine for a month, and to avoid going outside in extremely cold weather.)