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Doctors, nurses, and staying healthy

When Your Doctor Is Gravely Concerned

, , | Healthy | December 26, 2017

(My GP has referred me to a dermatologist in the nearest large city because of a rash on my hands. A couple of months later, I’m in his office for a regular check-up.)

Doctor: “Did that dermatologist ever get in touch with you?”

Me: “Not a word.”

Doctor: “Maybe you had better call her. Here, I’ll look up her phone number.” *fiddles with his computer for a bit* “Oh, dear, I just found her obituary.”

Me: “I guess that explains why she never contacted me.”

Doctor: “But doesn’t it make you feel good to know you’re doing better than your doctor?”

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Obviously Not Stressing It Enough

, , | Healthy | December 26, 2017

(My doctor has prescribed me a four-month supply of a new medicine, to see if it will help with my migraines. I get it filled for the first two months at my local pharmacy without a problem, but the third month I am told I have to call my insurance to sort out a problem. After fighting my way through the automated system and identifying myself:)

Me: “My pharmacy told me that I need to call you about one of my meds.”

Operator: “Yes, it looks like that has been flagged as a ‘maintenance medication’ in our system, so it can only be filled at a regular pharmacy twice. After that it needs to be filled as a three-month supply via mail order.”

(This is news to me, but then again, it is a new insurance plan, so I am not that familiar with it.)

Me: “Okay, but I only have two more months on this medication; my doctor just gave me a four-month script to see if it works for me.”

Operator: “Yes, you just need to get set up on our online system to get it in a three-month supply.”

Me: “That’s the problem: I don’t have three months left on it. Can I get a two-month supply?”

Operator: No, it has to be a three-month supply because it is a ‘maintenance medication.'”

Me: “But I only have two more months on this prescription; it’s a trial to see if it works.”

Operator: “That’s fine; just get set up on our online system and you can get a three-month supply from now on.”

Me: “No, I can’t. I probably won’t be on this that long, and my prescription is only for two more months. Are you saying I need to go to my doctor and get a new three-month prescription in order to fill my last two months?”

Operator: “No, you keep the same prescription; just order a three-month supply online. Do you need the website address?”

Me: “No, I think I need a new prescription, because mine is only for another two months.”

Operator: “No, it must be three months.”

Me: “So, I need to get a new prescription from my doctor for three-months’ worth, or stop taking it now?”

Operator: “No, just enter your prescription online and select ‘three-month supply.'”

Me: “But I don’t have three months left on this medication.”

Operator: *sighs loudly* “I can give you a one-time exception to pick up this month from your pharmacy, but after that you really need to start getting it in a three-month supply via mail order.”

(I decided three months would have to be enough of a trial on that medication; it wasn’t working anyway, and that phone call to get more definitely triggered a stress migraine.)

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The Tale Is In The Yelling

, , | Healthy | December 25, 2017

(I’m at a local pharmacy. Twenty minutes ago I dropped off a prescription and now I am picking it up.)

Pharmacist: “Yes, sir?”

Me: “Prescription for [My Name]?”

Pharmacist: “It’s not ready yet, but it should be in just a few minutes.”

Me: “Sure, that’s fine.”

(I go and sit down in the waiting area. The pharmacist walks over to another employee and whispers something to her, which I happen to overhear:)

Pharmacist: “Can you believe it? He actually didn’t yell at me!”

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About To Be (Dis)Appointed

, , | Healthy | December 25, 2017

(I do appointment scheduling for the hospital. The following takes place on a daily basis with different patients.)

Patient: “I need to reschedule my appointment for next week.”

(I take their name and date of birth, and I look up the appointment.)

Me: “Okay, so, the only appointment I have in June is for the 18th at 7:30 am; then I am going into the middle of July.”

Patient: “Oh, no! I can’t wait that long; do you have anything Tuesday?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. The only opening I have is June 18th.”

Patient: “How about Wednesday?”

Me: “No. Like I said, the only opening I have in June is the 18th; then I am going into July.”

(This goes on a few more times.)

Patient: “Okay, I will just take June 18th. You don’t have anything a little later in the day, though, do you?”

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A Sinus Of The Times

, , | Healthy | December 25, 2017

(I suffer from chronic sinus infections, having experienced ear infections with regularity since I was a toddler. However, the word “suffer” is actually quite a stretch. I’m chatting about it with the doctor checking me out; who initially doesn’t seem convinced anything is wrong.)

Me: “They never really bothered me, though. I was in for a check-up when I was two, and the doctor kept asking my mom if I’d been fussy, crying, sleeping badly, rubbing at my ears or anything. She said I’d been fine and asked why I’d be doing anything like that, and the doctor said I had the worst ear infection he’d EVER seen!”

Doctor: *giving me an are-you-serious look* “You have the worst sinus infection I’ve ever seen.”

Me: *cheerfully* “Told ya!”

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