The Tale Is In The Yelling

, , | Healthy | December 25, 2017

(I’m at a local pharmacy. Twenty minutes ago I dropped off a prescription and now I am picking it up.)

Pharmacist: “Yes, sir?”

Me: “Prescription for [My Name]?”

Pharmacist: “It’s not ready yet, but it should be in just a few minutes.”

Me: “Sure, that’s fine.”

(I go and sit down in the waiting area. The pharmacist walks over to another employee and whispers something to her, which I happen to overhear:)

Pharmacist: “Can you believe it? He actually didn’t yell at me!”

About To Be (Dis)Appointed

, , | Healthy | December 25, 2017

(I do appointment scheduling for the hospital. The following takes place on a daily basis with different patients.)

Patient: “I need to reschedule my appointment for next week.”

(I take their name and date of birth, and I look up the appointment.)

Me: “Okay, so, the only appointment I have in June is for the 18th at 7:30 am; then I am going into the middle of July.”

Patient: “Oh, no! I can’t wait that long; do you have anything Tuesday?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. The only opening I have is June 18th.”

Patient: “How about Wednesday?”

Me: “No. Like I said, the only opening I have in June is the 18th; then I am going into July.”

(This goes on a few more times.)

Patient: “Okay, I will just take June 18th. You don’t have anything a little later in the day, though, do you?”

A Sinus Of The Times

, , , | Healthy | December 25, 2017

(I suffer from chronic sinus infections, having experienced ear infections with regularity since I was a toddler. However, the word “suffer” is actually quite a stretch. I’m chatting about it with the doctor checking me out; who initially doesn’t seem convinced anything is wrong.)

Me: “They never really bothered me, though. I was in for a check-up when I was two, and the doctor kept asking my mom if I’d been fussy, crying, sleeping badly, rubbing at my ears or anything. She said I’d been fine and asked why I’d be doing anything like that, and the doctor said I had the worst ear infection he’d EVER seen!”

Doctor: *giving me an are-you-serious look* “You have the worst sinus infection I’ve ever seen.”

Me: *cheerfully* “Told ya!”

Choking On All That ‘Drama’

, , , | Healthy | December 24, 2017

(I’ve never liked going to the dentist, but this incident really made me hate it more than usual. It’s just a normal annual teeth cleaning, uncomfortable but bearable, but when the hygienist was using the polish, a chunk of it broke off and went down my throat. I started choking and the hygienist had to stop the cleaning for a moment to let me clear my airway.)

Hygienist: “Quit being such a drama queen.”

(I was furious, and made sure to tell my mom about it when I was done. I don’t know if she told the dentist about what happened, but I never saw that hygienist again.)

Overstayed Your Medicaid

, , , | Healthy | December 23, 2017

(After our son is born:)

Nurse: *to my wife* “And I’m just confirming that the baby is covered by your insurance for at least 21 days?”

Wife: “Yes, that’s correct.”

(Later:)

Doctor #1: “Hi, Mom & Dad! Congratulations! I’m [Doctor] and just here to look over the little guy. Oh, he’s a cutie!” *examines the baby for five minutes* “Well, everything looks good. Congratulations again!”

(Even later:)

Doctor #2: “Hello! I’m [Doctor #2]. I’m here to examine [something else] with your son. Congratulations, by the way! Oh, he’s a handsome guy!” *examines baby for five minutes* “Well, everything looks good. He seems to be doing great!”

(Later still:)

Doctor #3: “He’s doing great, but his levels aren’t quite where we would really like them to be. I’m going to keep you guys here for another night to monitor him.”

(Months later we start seeing bills from pediatricians whose names we didn’t recognize at all for “neonatal exam” and other odd things. Two years later our daughter is born in the same hospital.)

Nurse: *to my wife* “And I’m just confirming that the baby is covered by your insurance for at least 21 days?”

Wife: “No, I’m on a self-funded plan so that isn’t the case. We’ll be putting her on the state-based Medicaid plan with her brother and coverage will be retroactive to her birthday.”

(Later, as in less than 24 hours after the birth:)

Nurse: “Looks like you guys get to go home today! Just so you know, her levels aren’t quite where we would want them to be so you’ll need to set up an appointment with your primary care pediatrician to have her checked within the next day. Congratulations again!”

(The next day at our pediatrician’s office:)

Pediatrician: “Why in the world would they discharge you with her levels like this? This is very concerning to me. She needed another night in the hospital. Did any pediatricians at the hospital look at her?”

Wife: “Just one. Weird, because last time we saw like four or five; they’d just pop in and we’d never see them again.”

Pediatrician: “These numbers are not good. We need to get her to the ER today.”

(Off to the ER (at a different hospital) and our new-born daughter had to stay the night for some urgent treatment. She’s fine now but the lesson is learned that we mention Medicaid to the hospital with extreme caution.)

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