Head First Into An Incident Report

(I look up to see a small child falling face first out of his mother’s cart, slamming his head very hard on the floor.)

Mother: “AAHHHH! OH, MY GOD!”

(I am very startled but remain calm and follow procedure.)

Me: *on walkie-talkie* “Code green: electronics.”

Mother: “Oh, my god! Call paramedics!”

(Knowing the costliness of ambulances, I pick up the phone but ask more questions before calling.)

Me: “Security and management is on the way; what happened exactly?”

Mother: “OH, MY GOD! I DON’T KNOW! I had him standing in the cart and he just got excited and fell out. Oh, my god! Can you, like, get someone to check him out or something…” *starts behaving very awkwardly*

Me: *baffled* “Well, uh… I mean… No one here at [Store] is a trained medical professional or anything.”

(By this time, security and all managers on the floor are responding, on the way with ice for the poor little child.)

Me: *to the hurt child* “Hey, how do you feel, bud? Does it hurt?” *the child stands there holding his head, responding only with sniffles*

Me: *to mother* “Is he normally pretty talkative?”

Mother: “Ya…” *awkward still*

Me: “How old is he?”

Mother: “Three…” *by this time she has lost all her enthusiasm and is just awkwardly staring*

Me: “Okay, so I think you should definitely take him to a doctor to make sure he’s not concussed or anything. Maybe the walk-in right down the road?”

Mother: *still awkwardly staring* “But can I, like, fill out a report or something…”

Manager: “Was there a spill? Did you slip?”

Mother: “No…” *looks around* “But shouldn’t there be a sign or something?”

(Every cart everywhere has a caution printed right on it for this reason exactly. Ours specifically states “Do not let child stand in cart. Child can fall out causing severe head injury.” Security later reviewed video to observe the incident. Turned out she was pushing that cart super fast with her kid standing in it and stopped abruptly. Nice.)