He Wrote A Book And Went To The Moon And Knows My Son And…

(I’m helping an older lady out with her garage sale. She knows my parents and has just asked why I have such a great interest in Ireland.)

Me: “Oh, it’s got a lot to do with the history. Michael Collins—”

Older Lady: “Michael Collins?!”

Me: “Yes, he was—”

Older Lady: “My son wrote a book with Michael Collins! I’ll have to show it to you! Oh, you’re right; he’s just the nicest man.”

Me: “Um, no, I meant—”

Older Lady: “He visited the college here once. I saw his picture in the newspaper. It said, ‘Michael Collins visiting with other students from Ireland,’ so I thought I’d surprise my son! I called up the college to see if they had his number, but they wouldn’t give it to me. They said he was a student. But he wrote a book with my son!”

Me: “Um… ah… You know, there’s more than one, uh, Michael Collins.”

Older Lady: “REALLY?”

(After she walked away, I leaned over and said to my mother, “Let’s not mention a Michael Collins was one of the guys on the moon, too.” Mom says that to this day, she can’t get this lady to understand that more than one person has this incredibly common name.)