He Won’t Sue, He Already Had Too Much Exposure

I work as a staff member at an airport club, the kind that you have to pay to belong to and that offers WiFi, desks, tables, phones, snacks, and so on for busy travelers.

The men’s room is located directly adjoining the staff office, with doors that are virtually identical except for small stylish plaques saying, “MEN,” and, “STAFF.” Consequently, it’s not uncommon for men in a hurry to lunge into the staff office, do a double-take, and then excuse themselves and go next door.

Today — Super Bowl Sunday, as it happens — a couple of us were sitting at the table in the staff office when suddenly the door flew open and a man all but ran into the room, with his fly unzipped and his junk already out. I can only assume he expected it to be a one-seater that he wouldn’t have to share with anyone.

Embarrassing for him, embarrassing for us. But what really made it memorable was his response to the situation. Standing there gaping at us, he shouted, “I’LL SUE!” 

Then, he turned and ran back out… without making any real effort to cover himself.

I looked at my coworker and she looked at me. “Did that really happen?”