He Who Shall Not Be Named Correctly, Part 2

(I have made my dad watch all of the Harry Potter movies. Despite my best efforts, by the last movie, my dad still has little to no idea what is going on. We have arrived at the graveyard scene.)

Dad: “What’s that? His parents’ graves?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Dad: “Jimmy and Lily Potter!”

Me: “No, dad, it’s James.”

Dad: “Jimmy!”

Me: “Ugh, no.”

Dad: “Lilith! ”

Me: “Stop!”

(Later, during the same movie. I have just explained the scene about Snape’s memories.)

Me: “…and that’s why he isn’t a bad guy.”

Dad: “But didn’t he kill Harry’s parents? Or was that Baltimore?”

Me: “No, it’s Voldemort. Not Baltimore. But yes Voldemort killed his parents.”

Dad: “But Snake was talking to Baltimore, and was working with him, and killed that Dumbledorf guy!”

Me: “Oh, come on. It has been about 20 hours of me constantly telling you their names and you still don’t get Snape, Dumbledore, or even Voldemort? We are definitely not related…”