He Who Eats Less, Laughs Best

(While I’m working, I see this teenage girl pull up in an really nice car. With her orange spray tan and expensive clothing, I could tell it would be interesting.)

Me: “Hey, what could I get for you today?”

Customer: “You’re going to make me a non-fat shake with non-fat mix, non-fat milk, and non-fat chocolate.

Me: “Oh, okay… I’ll have that done for you in just a second.”

(Right before I start to blend the shake, she speaks up:)

Customer: “So since you work here, do you eat a lot of ice cream?”

Me: “Well, I suppose I eat enough to be able to recommend stuff to customers…”

Customer: “Well, you just look like you eat a lot of ice cream. You might want to quit your job before you get too fat.”

Me: “Thanks for that advice.”

(While my coworker rings her up, I proceed to add five pumps of chocolate syrup, extra chocolate chips, and tons of extra ingredients to her shake, putting it up to a total of about 4,000 calories.)

Customer: *taking a drink* “At least you can make a decent shake.”