He Went Through Those With A Fine Tooth Comb

CONTENT WARNING: Extra gross content

We have a coworker in the office who is notoriously frugal. One time he is eating a hamburger, and he stops mid-chew.

Coworker: “Oh no!”

Me: “What is it?”

Coworker: “I think I just swallowed the cap that was on my back tooth! It’s gone!”

Me: “Oh, that sucks. You should go to the dentist to get that replaced.”

I think nothing more of it, until a few days later when he comes back all smiles.

Coworker: “I got the cap back!”

Me: “Oh cool! They made a new one for you quickly!”

Coworker: “It’s not a new one, it’s the original.”

Me: “Oh, so you…” *Dawn of realization.* “…found… it?”

He then explained to me how using some plastic gloves and a knife and fork, he went to the restroom for the next few days, and dug through his own poos until he found it. He then took it back to the dentist, where I f****** hope it was thoroughly sterilized, and had it put back in his mouth.

And then he went around the whole office telling people.