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He Wants To Be Here, There, Everywhere

, , | Right | August 30, 2021

My friend and I are feeling hungry, so we stop in a small bakery. They have a bunch of pre-packaged goods around on stands and some fresh-baked goods that you order at the till. There is only one other man inside, browsing the pre-packaged stock, but we want fresh hot buns, so we head straight for the clerk.

When we get there, however, the other customer speaks up.

Customer: “I was here first.”

The clerk, my friend, and I all look at him.

Clerk: “Oh, are you ready to buy?”

Customer: “In a minute.”

He then turns away again, while we all stare. After a moment, the clerk turns to look at us expectantly.

Clerk: *In a low voice* “What would you like?”

Me: “Two [rolls].”

The clerk wraps them up for us, takes our money, and starts getting our change. The man turns around again.

Customer: “Hey! I was here first!”

Friend: “No, you were there first. We were here first.”

The man paused as he tried to process that, and by that point, the clerk had our change, so we both took it and made our escape.

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