He Saw His Opportunity And He Took It!

I’m working the register, and an older couple is unloading their groceries after waiting in line for a while. I am still serving the customer ahead of them but there is room on the belt for their items.

The wife has been berating her husband pretty much non-stop since they got in line.

Customer #1: “No, no, Gerald! The cereal gets unloaded first because they’re bulky!”

Customer #1: “Gerald, are you a moron or are you trying to annoy me? That is not how I told you to stack the plums!”

Customer #1: “Good Lord, Gerald, why did you get this type of cheddar?! I told you to get the store brand, not this overpriced organic nonsense! Go back and get the right one right now!”

Poor Gerald runs off with the offensive cheddar while his wife continues to unload her items her way.

The customer behind her steps forward a little, and after a moment the woman starts complaining again, this time to the other customer.

Customer #1: “What took you so long?! I can’t believe you would embarrass me like that and have to run back to get the right cheese, but—”

Customer #2: “Ahem…”

She looks up and realizes the man she has been grumbling at is the other customer.

Customer #1: “Oh, you’re not my husband.”

Customer #2: “No, I am not.”

Customer #1: “Well, where is he?”

Customer #2: “Based on the last minute or so, I’d guess he’s very far away and getting further by the second.”

This story is part of our Editors’-Favorite-Stories-Of-2023-(so far!) roundup!

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