He Is Stick-ing To His Plan  

(When my dad is at university, one of his friends, [Friend #1], is blind, and his other friend, [Friend #2], is known for doing pretty bad stuff when he’s had a few drinks. One night, after they’ve been out for a large amount of beer, they get hungry and stop at the local chip shop, which is next to a university and so is full of people at 3:00 am. [Friend #2] decides he doesn’t want to wait in line, so he grabs [Friend #1]’s blind stick and walks to the front of the line, in a trick I’m sure everyone has heard of. After he is served, my dad starts to help [Friend #1] into the shop, since [Friend #2] only got food for himself, and [Friend #1] trips over the doorstep.)

Counter Guy: *laughing* “You’d almost think he was the blind one.”

Friend #1: “I am; that p***k has my stick!”

(To quote my dad when he told this story, “It’s amazing how quickly you sober up when a six-foot bloke from a chip shop chases you down the road.” The guy also gave [Friend #1] free chips, not realising they were friends. I’d like to make it clear that they didn’t plan this; it just kind of worked out in [Friend #1]’s favour. Thirty years later, my dad is still good friends with both, and they’re both great people, but it’s fun to remember that your parents can be as bad as you sometimes.)