He Is In Otherwise Good Standing

(I’m visiting home from college. Both of my brothers have already graduated, and the younger one now has his own apartment. We’re at our parents’ house watching a movie. During the course of the movie, my younger brother has wrapped himself in a blanket and slid slowly to the floor. When the movie ends, he looks at me and raises his arms.)

Me: “Seriously?”

Brother: “Standing up is haaaard.”

Me: “You’re 24 years old.”

Brother: *looks at me pleadingly*

Me: “Aren’t you, like, super fitness guy? Don’t you complain when you go on 8-hour mountain hikes and other people can’t keep up?”

Brother: “Yeah, but that’s different.”

Me: “You live alone. How do you get out of bed in the morning? Do you just have a pull-up bar over the bed?”

Brother: “No, don’t be ridiculous. It’s gymnastic rings. I get up, go straight into my awesome ring routine, stick the landing, and it’s a cheery start to my day.”

Me: “…”

(I helped him up.)